I have been a terrible blogger, and I know it. A lot has happened since my last post. First off, my husband is currently unemployed. It's a long story, but he is not at fault. We are hoping, praying and waiting to see if unemployment is approved. Financially, we have been struggling immensely. I have faith though that we will pull through. We may have to lick a few wounds, but we have a roof over our heads and each other. Those are the two most important things.
Because of these issues, moving has been placed on the back burner. We need to be able to pay our bills first. I'll admit that some of my lack of blogging has been due to depression. It's hard to feel happy when people are calling for late payments, and you know that you have to put your plans for the future on hold.
About a month ago, I made a decision. I could lay around and be depressed about a situation I can't control, or I could still work towards something that makes me happy. I went and saw a therapist. It gave me a chance to vent and take some of the pressure off my husband. I also decided to pursue my dreams on a smaller scale for now.
I'm auditioning for a band on Thursday, and I'm scared to death! I can sing, but I'm not sure I can sing the way a rock band would want their lead singer to sing. I almost lost it last night because I can't get "the broadway" out of my voice. I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter. If I never jump in, I'll never know what it feels like.
I wonder sometimes if everyone who makes a big step like this gets scared. I wonder if waning confidence is normal. I think it is, but I'm not sure. The good thing is that I'm good at faking it. I'll go to the audition. I will be disappointed if I don't get in the band, but I won't be surprised. Wish me luck and let's hope for the best!
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